If you spend time with people who have self control, you can expect gaining self control to come easy to you. The opposite is also true – spending time with those who don’t have much in the way of self-control encourages you in negative behaviors.

“Before, we knew people tended to hang out with other people who were like themselves,” explains Michelle vanDellen, a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia, who led research into this phenomenon. “But in these studies, we actually show there is a direct effect of our friends’ behavior on our own behavior,” and that the findings apply, she concludes, “not only to the people we [choose to] hang out with, but those we are forced to hang out with.” Think your co-workers, fellow students and the like.

The conclusions are based on five different studies conducted over two years by vanDellen and co-author Rick Hoyle of Duke University.

Even though the studies were conducted in a lab setting this is important news for anyone trying to stop a bad habit, or start up some good ones.

The amount of influence might be the difference between eating an extra cookie or keeping your promise to workout more. At least this is a nudge in the right direction.

Of the five projects, the study the authors had the most fun with involved 71 subjects and two plates of food. One was loaded with carrot sticks, the other with fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

The participants saw someone show self-control by eating the healthy snack and leaving the cookies, or someone enjoying the cookies and ignoring the healthier alternative.

After this, the subjects took self-control tests and those who had watched someone eat cookies didn’t do as well as those who watched someone eat the carrots.

In another of the five studies, the team found that 36 participants who’d been randomly assigned to think of a friend with good self control held out longer on a test of handgrip used to measure self control than did the subjects who thought of a friend with less than stellar self control.

Still another bit of work on the same theme involved asking 42 people to list the names of friends who had both good and bad self-control. The participants then took a test (designed to measure their self-control) and a name was flashed very briefly on a computer screen.

Again, those who saw the name of a friend with good self-control did better on the test than the subjects who saw the name of a friend with poor self-control.

The fourth of the studies involved the assignment supplied to 122 subjects – write about a friend with good self-control, bad self-control or an outgoing friend. Those who wrote about the friend with good self-control did better on a test of self-control, those who wrote about a friend with poor self-control did worst, and those who wrote about an outgoing friend scored in the middle of the two groups.

In the final study, 117 subjects were randomly assigned to write about friends with good or bad self-control. Those who wrote about the friend with good self control performed better on word identification tests related to self-control.

This is the first research to show that self-control is contagious across behaviors.

“The take-home message of this study is that picking social influences that are positive can improve your self-control,” says vanDellen. “And by exhibiting self-control, you’re helping others around you do the same.”

Surrounding yourself with healthy, motivated people gives you the best odds of controlling your behavior and gaining self control. This is one reason why a training buddy can be so useful, as long as they are motivated too.

FREE Bonus Secret Health Reports – For a limited time you can grab 5 FREE essential health reports from Daily Health Bulletin and click the link now to discover other methods for easily gaining self control.

Remember when you were young, you used to run around at the park, you used always to go outside and play with your friends. Play ball, be a cheerleader, be on the chess club at school, do you remember those days? What happened, why do we become such a bore when we become adults? Why is it that we don’t experienced life anymore like we used to? Below are some characteristics of how our positive attitude though process changes.

When we were young, we always wanted to do something fun. If you have young children today, observe them for a minute, they always are doing something fun, aren’t they? They always also can shift direction from one minute to the next. They can be playing school and all of sudden switch to playing doctor to making a puzzle.

Didn’t we used to be curious, always wanted to try something new? Why do we get comfortable and become scare of the NEW. Why don’t we like changes anymore? It did not used to bother us. We all know it takes fewer muscles to smiles and to frown but it we always look unhappy.

Do you remember when you young, you use to express yourself freely not worrying who heard you or who was around you. You were creative and you were always active either playing sports or any kind of activities with your friends but today we would prefer watching somebody else go for their dreams on American Idol than to be active ourselves in the search of our own happiness.

We also seem to think that learning stops when we leave high school or college. Somehow, we think that we know what we need to know and we go along with the flow. Why is it that we don’t take risk anymore? What is really the worst that can happen?

We also stop dreaming and we look at the one that are dreaming and taking action like the weird one. Why are we afraid to fail? We did not used to. Remember how passionate you were when you made that first mother’s day card for your mom, how passionate you were. Where did your passion go?

Somehow, today’s society dictates how we should live our lives, how we should be happy with what we have instead of reaching for your dreams. Really ask yourself, what happened, when did it all change for you? Once you figure it out, start thinking how you can change that, don’t make excuses, find answers like you life depended on it or even worst, like your boy or little girls life depended on you to find a solution and you will surprise on why creative and dedicated you become. Get your positive attitude thought process back today.

To your success

Ghyslain
“My happiness depends on your success”

Ghyslain Lefebvre has been an internet marketer since the beginning of 2009. After 6 months, he became successful and started working full time. His team is from all over the world including Israel, UK, Canada, US and much more. Now he shares what he has learned with other like minded individuals.

Learn how you can turn your yearly income into your monthly income working from home with or without internet or marketing experience. Visit http://7figureincomethisyear.com/ or Find Freedom Here

“My happiness depends on your success”

Forgiveness is granting free pardon and to cancel all claims due to an offense or debt. Forgiveness is a human attribute which is not easily portrayed as the definition implies. Sometimes it takes great effort and courage to forgive. In fact, practically speaking, imagine forgiving someone who has caused you much pain and you are currently in a psychological trauma. To some Individuals, it is totally unthinkable and impossible. But is this enough reason to make us refuse to forgive?

Okay! It is absolutely normal to feel pain and hurt by an offender but let’s say you refuse to forgive the person. What then? Does it change anything? You may be in a position to frustrate the Individual or per say hope to be in such a situation, but the world revolves you know! And what goes around comes around. What if the person peradventure sees him/herself in that position you wish and maybe went a step further to use his/her grace to do something good for you with all sincerity to show his/her remorse? Won’t you still forgive? Then you are heaping red hot coal on your skinned head. Refusal to forgive shows weakness. An adage would say “The weak can never forgive; forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”. This means you are not strong enough to overcome such pain/grieve and move on. You may be so deceived by your emotions to feel if you do not do something back, you would be seen as weak. That’s a lie! On the contrary, your ability to let go despite the magnitude of hurt shows your strength and in fact in some situations, the heaping of red hot coal is now reversed. Not to forget that we are humans and we all make mistakes no matter how careful we tend to be. This means, we cannot avoid stepping on each other’s toes in one way or another, directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly. So, if we are to use the revenge rule-an eye for an eye, everyone will go blind. Would that be the best option? No level of hurt we experience is above forgiveness.

Consider this real life situation. If you carry grudges against an offender, how would your reactions be whenever you set eyes on that person? Your heart jumps up, your hormones become very active, a doubled or even tippled level of consciousness and your senses become so sharp and strong. Doing all these for someone who offended you? One of Lewis.B. Smedes’ quotes states “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you”. You become so imprisoned to your offender, you seem not to like anything he/she does; when everyone compliments him/her, you look for a fault to say and always discover his/her imperfection easily. Burning so much energy for someone like this is unnecessary hard work and will definitely have a negative psychological impact on yourself. William Arthur quote states “Forgiveness is a gift, you give yourself”. Forgive and free yourself from this bondage. It is even more terrible when you see your offender succeeding and prospering. Free yourself and come back to a normal Life.

Conclusively, when you do not forgive, nothing changes but if you do otherwise, a great impact would be felt and of course, you create a change. You exhibit Love when you forgive and a re-establishment of a good relationship is achieved. You never can tell where that relationship will take you to. You do not know how such relationship will benefit you. Above all, even if none of these happens, you will be free and be at liberty when you forgive. Forgiveness and Love go hand in hand. “There is no Love without forgiveness and there is no forgiveness without Love”. Imagine a world driven by forgiveness. It will be a better place; much better than what we can ever imagine.

If you need a an easily downloadable Bible to your computer system, for more details, click on the link below

http://thegreatestandunstoppablelifecha.blogspot.com/2010/04/bible-online.html

How often do you enter into a conversation but can’t seem to relax long enough to just be quiet? Does it ever occur to you that when you encounter others, what they have to say could change your life? Or better yet, that you could change their life by simply and sincerely listening? Take a moment to think about the famous quote by John Clendenin:

“In all things, be willing to listen to people around you. None of us is really smart enough to go it alone.”

How can you apply this thought to your life? When you go about your daily activities, are you immersed in thought or do you listen to what’s going on around you? What is listening anyway? Merriam-Webster’s dictionary says it means “hearing something with thoughtful attention.” Is that how you listen?

When you’re relaxing with a friend or loved one, do you occasionally recite the highlights of a conversation you had recently. Or as you think about it, do you wonder if you’re already having a senior moment because you can’t remember certain specifics of the conversation?

When you listen to others with thoughtful attention, what usually happens is that you become curious about what the other person is saying. You may ask them a relevant question, and that, in turn, encourages them to continue speaking. Your interest in them gives others a sense of respect and being cared about. And a couple of wonderful side effects of this situation is, A) you’ve just gained a lot of respect from that person and, B) you’ve just learned something that may change your life. When a person shows interest in another person, it changes both of their lives – in a positive way.

Try this experiment. Anytime you come into contact with another person:

1. Be prepared. Think about it beforehand and what is positively unique about that person. If you don’t know, find out. Call someone that knows them to find out what they’re passionate about. If you are meeting a total stranger, try to think of something that might spark their enthusiasm.

2. Release preconceived notions. Do your sincere best to let go of all the judgments and opinions you have about the person’s character and personality. This is key. And the results can be really fun with those that you know very well. You will be amazed at how much you can learn and accomplish when you go into the conversation with “fresh ears.”

3. Listen first – speak later. Exchange your initial greetings, then give the other person a wide berth to feel completely comfortable talking. Make eye contact, relax, and remain relatively still, but comfortable. Imagine yourself spreading your arms, welcoming the other person to speak freely.

4. Practice sincere interest. If the other person doesn’t engage in conversation right away, ask them questions you know they’ll enjoy answering. The more interest you show in the other person, the more interested they will be in you. They’ll walk away from the encounter feeling good about themselves and having a high opinion of you. They’ll appreciate you because you allowed them to speak about their favorite topic – themselves!

5. Keep your mind active. When the conversation is over, review it in your mind. What did you talk about? What did you learn? What was interesting? How will you apply any take-aways to your life? If you’ll encounter that person again, what part of the conversation can be picked up again during the next meeting?

6. Breathe and Smile. After you’ve had a chance to review the conversation, take a deep breath, smile, and then move on to your next activity.

“In all things, be willing to listen to people around you. None of us is really smart enough to go it alone.”

So, what are your intentions?

Here’s to experiencing a sense of wonder as you listen to those around you, hearing them as if for the first time, as your spirit glows.

Click here to download our free “Relax in 4 Minutes” mp3, to help you quickly and easily clear your mind, feel better about yourself and have a fresh positive outlook today.

Debra Hollinrake is the President and CEO of Intentional Power, LLC. Helping you achieve your goals, Intentional Power produces positive, personalized audio books that guide you through your projected goal process to your desired result. Hear your positive personal story every day. You’ll stay motivated and on track with Your Story, Your Way. http://www.intentionalpower.net

I remember watching a DVD of a seminar once. The host of the seminar looked out in the crowd and asked his clients what ‘learning‘ means. There were a lot of answers shouted out, most of them pretty predictable. One man yelled out ‘the accumulation of knowledge’ which the host explained was almost the complete opposite of learning. The host listened for a few moments, and then told his clients that he felt that learning occurs once you change your habits. Before then, before you change how you act, you haven’t really learned anything. This makes sense. You can accumulate all the knowledge you want, but it means nothing unless it actually changes your life, unless it actually changes the way you act. Changing habits and really learning can be tough, and takes a lot of discipline. And no action requires more discipline than adopting that first new positive habit.

The first thing you need to do (after you’ve identified what habit you want to adopt) is you want to commit to making this change in your life. You can do this in a formal or informal way, in a private or public manner. It’s a good idea to set a certain amount of time that you’re going to devote to making this change. A lot of people recommend doing it for 30 days or a full month. This is an amount of time that most of us can wrap our minds around, it’s very easy to measure and track, and it’s enough time to really ingrain a habit into our routine.

Next, you want to continuously affirm and remind yourself of this habit throughout the day. You can do this in a loose way, such as whenever you feel compelled to break the new habit, or you can really systematize your affirmation of your new habit. One way to do this is to write a mantra, or an affirmation, or even a one page essay about this new habit and why you are going to live according to it, and then to read this passage at set times during the day. Having a piece of writing that specifically affirms what you’re going to do and reading it throughout the day can go a long way to really etching this into your being. It’s a good idea to reaffirm your habit first thing in the morning, then after meals, and then once before bed. This is a good schedule because it doesn’t require you to make any big changes to your schedule- instead you’re just tacking your affirmation onto things that are already part of your daily routine. Making the big change will be difficult enough without having to re-arrange your schedule to remind yourself why you’re making it in the first place.

Reaffirming your goal is the best way to stay committed to it. After all, changing habits and really learning something is a process of transforming yourself and nothing less. That means transforming your mind, your actions, and most importantly- transforming your beliefs by consciously brainwashing yourself to fully understand and believe what your new life and your new self will be.

Sam has been writing articles for over 4 years. Come read some of his most recent articles, including one on buying shoe shine kits and another about buying kiwi mink oil.